In honor of the day we set aside to honor our mothers, here’s a post actually written in 2010. My mom was still around, but on that day was very ill. It was a day full of emotional ups and downs, and yet still full of appreciation for all that my mom gave to me and our entire family. I hope that at least some part of her legacy is still alive and well!

Mother’s Day, May 9, 2010

If you’d asked me what I thought I’d be doing on Mother’s Day a couple of weeks ago, I would have said probably just hanging at home, maybe enjoying a visit from my daughter, Merrilee, perhaps a phone call from my son, Dan, and if I was lucky, my sister would call from the Assisted Living Center saying my folks were in the mood to talk and I could have wished Mom a Happy Mother’s Day.

If you’d asked me a week ago, my answer would have been quite different. Given Mom’s sudden bout with pneumonia, being hooked up to the ventilator, and literally at death’s door, I was seriously afraid that Mother’s Day would have been spent in the aftermath of a funeral. Even as we headed to Georgia last Monday, we came with clothes suitable for funeral–I actually brought 3 different outfits as I couldn’t think straight enough to think through what I might wear to my mother’s funeral.

So how did I spend the day? With my mother. Of all the Mother’s Days I’ve had the pleasure of spending with my mother, this one perhaps is the most special. Not because of anything in particular that we did, but just because we had one more opportunity to spend the day together. If I had to plan a fitting day for such an occasion, it would have been some other where than in her hospital room, helping her eat, encouraging her to eat more, telling her for the umpteenth time why she was there, reminding her that Daddy had been to see her every day and would be there as soon as my sister, Merrilyn, could get him there. It wouldn’t have included watching her struggle to stand on wobbly legs with the help of physical therapists. It wouldn’t have included telling her many times that no, she couldn’t get dressed, she can’t leave yet, we hope she can leave tomorrow, and that no, she wasn’t holding us up or preventing us from being somewhere more important. It wouldn’t have included telling her that yes, Merrilyn and I are sisters, and her daughters. It wouldn’t have included watching her be poked and prodded and changed and measured. It wouldn’t have included hearing her tell all the nurses how nice it was to meet them and how much she appreciated what they were doing for her.

If I had to plan a fitting celebration for the day, it would have (and did), however, included telling her how much I love her, and hearing the same from her in return. It would have included watching her face light up seeing Daddy walk in and head to her bedside to give her a kiss, hold her hand, tell her how much he loved her, and start in with his songs and poetry. It would have included some pretty flowers and a card with pink roses on it. And it would have included a real appreciation for another day, another reason to celebrate, and for this woman who has meant so much to me for 56 years now.

Whether she’ll be around for Mother’s Day 2011 is anybody’s guess. But she was here today, and I got to do those things that were the most important. A hospital is a lousy place to spend any holiday, but anywhere is the best place in the world to tell someone you love them.

Mom was not around for Mother’s Day 2011—she passed away in December 2010. This was the last Mother’s Day I got to spend with her. I’m glad we were able to make it at least a little special.

© Melissa Clark Vickers 2015

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